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so. it has been a strange week-or-so span of time.
i started a class at school, for the january term. only a month long, but the same as any other four-credit class. and i was really enjoying it, but i dropped it anyway.
i have so many things to do, all the life things that i hadn't managed during the past semester. and trying to do that all at once, with school on top, was making me sort of, uh, completely fractious to the point where i was, like, gonna have a real-ass panic attack in a way i haven't in years. so i dropped it and i apologized very much to the professor who is kind and understanding.
so. here's a list of things i want to get done with the rest of this month.
1: clean my space
i've been watching that good tidying up show on netflix, with marie kondo. if you haven't seen it, and you can get a hold of it, do that. it cleanses the soul and motivates you for a really good clean. but even if i hadn't seen that, i needed to clean anyway because my room at home was a damn disaster. and i've made some headway on this, but now i'm going to have to go through all my clothes (which means a dreadful amount of laundry) and all my books as well. i want to make this work but esp. with my ocd it's really stressful.
2: apply for internships
fuck me RUNNING but i hated the applications process when i was trying to get into customer service at the MALL, and now you're telling me it's the same, but for my whole-ass career? and i might not even get paid for it? that is the shittiest deal ever. also cover letters are a very special brand of bullshit and i hate them and this entire disingenuous process.
3: write my fic
this is a good thing! and i'm excited to have time for it, but i'm having a lot of trouble. i can't motivate myself to write, because this is a new thing for me, writing longer pieces, and i'm afraid i'll fuck it up and nobody will like it. which, of course, is ridiculous, and i'm generally very pleased to have a project working away that i actually like. so whatever. i can buck up on this one.
4: find a therapist
i live in a major goddamn urban center but somehow nobody is taking new clients?
i dunno that's the entire inside of my head right now. really sorry to any of you sad sacks who read all this.
i started a class at school, for the january term. only a month long, but the same as any other four-credit class. and i was really enjoying it, but i dropped it anyway.
i have so many things to do, all the life things that i hadn't managed during the past semester. and trying to do that all at once, with school on top, was making me sort of, uh, completely fractious to the point where i was, like, gonna have a real-ass panic attack in a way i haven't in years. so i dropped it and i apologized very much to the professor who is kind and understanding.
so. here's a list of things i want to get done with the rest of this month.
1: clean my space
i've been watching that good tidying up show on netflix, with marie kondo. if you haven't seen it, and you can get a hold of it, do that. it cleanses the soul and motivates you for a really good clean. but even if i hadn't seen that, i needed to clean anyway because my room at home was a damn disaster. and i've made some headway on this, but now i'm going to have to go through all my clothes (which means a dreadful amount of laundry) and all my books as well. i want to make this work but esp. with my ocd it's really stressful.
2: apply for internships
fuck me RUNNING but i hated the applications process when i was trying to get into customer service at the MALL, and now you're telling me it's the same, but for my whole-ass career? and i might not even get paid for it? that is the shittiest deal ever. also cover letters are a very special brand of bullshit and i hate them and this entire disingenuous process.
3: write my fic
this is a good thing! and i'm excited to have time for it, but i'm having a lot of trouble. i can't motivate myself to write, because this is a new thing for me, writing longer pieces, and i'm afraid i'll fuck it up and nobody will like it. which, of course, is ridiculous, and i'm generally very pleased to have a project working away that i actually like. so whatever. i can buck up on this one.
4: find a therapist
i live in a major goddamn urban center but somehow nobody is taking new clients?
i dunno that's the entire inside of my head right now. really sorry to any of you sad sacks who read all this.
